No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize