One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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