I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
