She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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