what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
