Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
