therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
