I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
