dude i'm inner monologue high
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
we're making bets on your personal life
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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