the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
time to smoke my breakfast
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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