I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize