beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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