You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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