have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize