If that was your dad, he is hot
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
