He is an equal opportunity slut.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
