We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
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i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
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Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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