so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
