laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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