She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
