Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I looked at my own cervix.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
