Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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