in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
