There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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