Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
