I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
