My brain says no but my pants say off.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Is Oprah even human
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
