Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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