he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
