I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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