Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
