Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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