I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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