oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
