dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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