I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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