your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
