When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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