Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
