Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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