Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish my penis had a tongue
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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