So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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