Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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