so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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