I look better un-naked...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
