youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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