I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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