awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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