Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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