Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize