she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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