he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
