i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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