I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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