so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Randomize
