My cat gives me a boner
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
