i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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