I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
